Well, it's been quite a while since I've been on Neocities (or bearblog for that matter. Work and life and depression has really taken me away from myself in ways that continue to surprise and further upset me. Between the state of the world and the state of my personal life, I feel drowned in a constant maelstrom of worse news. Any reprieve of fresh air is tainted by the guilt of something else being forgotten....

For my day job, I am afraid of AI and how it can replace someone whose crippling depression so obviously impacts their ability to work. For my personal life, I am afraid of AI and how dangerous it makes sharing any form of art feel. I love seeing other people's creativity. I have often dreamed of sharing my own. I grew up believing no one would ever care to see what I drew or wrote, believing these endeavors were nothing but a waste of time. I struggle (and fail) most of the time to fight that inner narrative. Yet now, with the successes and celebrations of art theft via artificial intelligence...I truly feel I am too late.

Regardless, I'm making this new page to mark that I'm not giving up 100%. Partially because I can't afford to and partially because I don't want to. I believe that the world is better than it feels right now. I believe that one day I might be able to breathe again.