fully grown adult; idiot baby coder

i suppose my expectations for my first webpage were a bit high lol.
and admittedly, i copy/pasted the background image code because i don't think i'd remember that on my own.
coding is such an interesting setup, it's something that makes so much sense to me when i'm actively listening to or reading tutorials/instructions, but i completely freeze when i try to start on my own.
i think this is for a few reasons (and yes, i'm finding an excuse to code lists):

  1. starting with a blank card is daunting
  2. syntax is a bitch
  3. i consistently have so many other things i need to be doing and focusing on. like my actual job, house chores, general adult errands
  4. i don't know if i'm officially neurodivergent but what i do know is i've been in a constant state of stress for at least 3.5 months (maybe longer) and my ability to focus on anything has been essentially shot

but i want to make cool things

the website's i've seen in just the last 48 hours of finding this site have been incredible. the dedication and time i'm able to see only expands the more i try to do basic things with html & css.
i have been very slowly making progress in some other areas in my life, and i'm hoping that this can become a productive, creative outlet because heaven knows i need one.